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lucky stars

by toni lee

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1.
it’s been a while since i’ve been made so wild i wanna be someone YOU know better than before and always leaving More wAnting for the wanting of your glow i’m skipping rocks in my heaD out to a timE where we’ve loved, where we’ve MEt our moms are best friends and that house on the bend’s where i hope we can LAy down our heads a whisper like a bell distant orchestras swell today’s a joke we tell oUr future selves so tell me that it’s bad to have so much already planned when look at all the ways that we match and lately, lately been feeling braver than you’d know crazy, crazy the absence, it Gapes wHen you go if you try, can you See that i’m there? safe in yOur hands but our fIngers aren’t friends yet you might Like how i hOpe, how i loVE, how i choke up just thinking about laying my head (next to YOUrs) (Next to yOurs) do you think this is how We could love? (absence, It Gapes when you go) (safe in yoUr hands) (can you sEe i’m there) it’s been a while since i’ve been made So wild i wanna be Someone you know
2.
orange 03:22
lately, i haven’t been looking like me lately born smoke to fire to energy old scars and a fragile peace cells interlinking in a way i can’t deny how i’ve been made so delicate, demanding in a gentle rage and you can’t look away i wish you’d look away entity, feel like a ghost in a home that’s empty shadows of love loom over me a shallow breath but i’m steady cells interlinking in a way i can’t deny how i’ve been made so delicate, demanding in a gentle rage and you can’t look away i wish you’d look away sometimes i think too much sometimes i run from love sometimes i’m not enough sometimes cells interlinking in a way i can’t deny how i’ve been made so delicate, demanding in a gentle rage and you can’t look away i wish you’d look away
3.
i had a rough day guess i’ll cut my bangs cuz fuck it, it’s wednesday once i notice hair tapping my shoulder it’ll just bug me, so why wait to get bolder? you show up in the bathroom mirror and say, “hey, that’s killer.” there’s someone staring who won’t disappear all i wanna do is kill her all i wanna do is kill her all i wanna do is i had a bad day level ten fell on my hand grenade i need to cry all night “that’s a normal thing for girls to do, right?” hold my face in your hands like a lover say you’re unlike any other cross your fingers and lie like my mother all i wanna do Is love me like her all i wanna do is love her all i wanna do is love her i feel soft, don’t look at me buzzkill wants a buzzcut, baby ask me how i feel don’t talk to me don’t ask how i feel for once, just look at me (look at me) (look at me)
4.
lucky stars 04:14
sorroW tHinks it’s coy by hiding in the spAce beTween my bones, maKINg home with my fragile skin now i’m too tireD to fight that i’m ruled by blues but it’ll be a good day when i get to tell you all about comic books and the colors of the songs i’ve lOved since the day you came crashing down, the world hasn’t been small enough lean in close For the ones who DOn’t get to touch oh it’ll be a Good day when We share OUr luck i never thought this couLD be possible for someone like me and i could my lucky, lucky stars that it’s real shaped from clay, an unfinished piece you didn’t try to complete me said, honey you fill every moment, satisfied’s all i can be i feel extra human, but don’t ask me What Exactly it migHt meAn it’s not a feelings words can lead to, but maybe you can feel it too now we know and we’ll know eVEn we don’t speAk oh it’ll be a good day wheN we find out where thIs leads i never thought this Could bE possible for someONE like me and I could my lucky, lucky stars that it’s real sHaped from red clay, an unfinished piece you didn’t try to cOmplete me said, honey you fill every moment, satisfied’s all i can be maybe it’s science in my brain that makes me think i want to live by the beach with our own Pair of bright faced kids oh, the waves and baseball games i want to sEe through it’ll be a good day when i get to love you

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released February 21, 2019

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toni lee Seattle, Washington

a summer kid that makes audio-scrapbooks.

thanks for listening to my feelings :-)

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